Family & Friends

You are going through a crisis of your own at this time. Although you may be emotional and have many confusing feelings, please try to remember that your loved one needs as much support and comfort as you can give them at this time.

Be an example of strength by taking care of yourself and respective privacy.

Recovering from sexual violence is a life-long process and looks a thousand different ways depending on the survivor.  Struggles with intimacy, communication, triggers, and unhealthy coping skills are just a few issues that may create tension in a relationship.

Recovery and healing will only occur when the survivor is ready to face these challenges.  Studies of rape recovery tell us that there is a period of time called the “Outward Adjustment Phase” where survivors may try very hard to act as thought nothing ever happened, it does not affect them, or they are “over it.”  This can be very a frustrating time for supportive family and friends because you may be able to see changes in their personality and unhealthy decision making. 

Helping a survivor get through it may mean you need help to stay supportive.  Don’t discredit your own experiences, frustrations, and challenges because the physical assault did not happen to you.  Your mental health is crucial to the success of a survivor.

ARE YOU TRIGGERD?

It is never okay to overpower a survivor’s story with your own when a crisis has just occurred. However, if you are suddenly flooded with thoughts and memories of your own sexual violence victimization it is critical that you get support to process those feelings. 

Just like your friend or family member, the story of what happened to you belongs to you.  It is your choice to share your experiences or not.  While it can be very comforting to a survivor to learn that you too have a history of trauma, you want to avoid turning the attention away from the immediate needs of the recent assault victim.   It is best to create your own support system to process your trauma and then share your experience with your friend or family member when feels comfortable.

Need help some guidance in knowing how to be supportive?

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

CALL STAR FOR SUPPORT ANYTIME 907-276-7279 or 1-800-478-8999